imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
sarcasm needs its own font
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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