separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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