I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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