I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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