we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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