it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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