I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
