that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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