i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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