i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
