so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
