you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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