I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I want is dick and wine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
