Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize