to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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