Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My balls are so social today.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
