Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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