I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
