i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
