how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
