NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
