What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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