the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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