He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
