You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
