You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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