I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
