You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
