'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't think brook has ever known best
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
