I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
