my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
