all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
