just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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