Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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