porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize