Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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