38 yer olds are good kisserssss
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Randomize
