I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
