Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Congratulations! We have a period
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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