if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
