Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
