So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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