there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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