Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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