my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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