His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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