We won't sleep together?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize