You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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