woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
