8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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