the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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