I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
