It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
