is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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