sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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