so that wasnt chicken after all
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
