i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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