I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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