You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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