3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
