We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
