youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
