8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
