we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize