I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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