i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
