Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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