Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
