i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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