My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
