I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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