If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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