dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize