Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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