i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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